Looking for some Thanksgiving jokes for adults and kids to help you survive family dinners this year? Let me pour some gravy on you with these turkey puns and Thanksgiving jokes for adults and kids that will have people saying “pie really love you.”
Getting together with family for the holidays is lovely, but it can also be stressful. The best weapon for easing dinner tensions is a strong dose of poultry humor! This extensive list of Thanksgiving jokes and turkey puns will help lighten the mood.
Let’s give’em pumpkin to talk about!
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Thanksgiving jokes for adults
I maintain that silly kid jokes can be enjoyed by adults, but these Thanksgiving jokes for adults may appeal to those with slightly more sophisticated turkey tastes. They’re not dirty, they just may fly over the heads of little ones.
1. Here’s a recipe for how to cook a turkey.
Step 1: Go buy a turkey.
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey.
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven.
Step 4: Take another two drinks of whiskey.
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens.
Step 6: Take three more whiskeys of drink.
Step 7: Turn oven the on.
Step 8: Take four whisks of drinky.
Step 9: Turk the bastey.
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get.
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer.
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for four hours.
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 15: Floor the turkey up off the pick.
Step 16: Turk the carvey.
Step 17: Get yourself a scottle of botch.
Step 18: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
Step 219: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!
02. What did the obstetrician say when Thanksgiving was ready? “The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
03. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? Only one, but you have to really squeeze him in there.
04. If the Pilgrims were still alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their age.
05. What happened when the cannibal showed up late to Thanksgiving dinner? He got the cold shoulder.
06. “Why did the cranberries turn red?” “Because they saw the turkey dressing.”
07. I was going to serve sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving, but I accidentally sat on them. Now I’m serving squash.
08. I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
09. Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies? Because they use fowl language!
10. So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving. As it turns out, he just couldn’t quit cold turkey.
11. I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie, but some people say that’s irrational.
12. Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.
13. This morning, my wife said she wanted me to help fix Thanksgiving dinner. I said, “Why? Is it broken?”
14. What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google.
15. What kind of weather does a turkey like? Fowl weather.
16. What did the leftover turkey say? Make me a sandwich!
17. I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.
18. One Thanksgiving morning, a farmer walks into his house with a turkey under his arm. “This is the pig I’ve been sleeping with,” he says. “That’s a turkey,” his wife says. The man answers, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
19. What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist.
20. What’s blue and covered in feathers? A turkey holding its breath.
21. What do you call a turkey’s evil twin? A Gobblegänger.
22. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner? He was ready for a roast.
23. What can never, ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner? Thanksgiving breakfast.
24. What smells the best at the Thanksgiving dinner table? Your nose.
25. A young man who worked at a grocery store had just finished stocking the turkeys in the freezer when a woman approached and asked, “Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?” “No ma’am,” he replied. “These turkeys are dead.”
Thanksgiving puns (In pie we crust)
I was surprised and delighted to see how many pie puns people have come up with. These Thanksgiving puns make the most out of dinner wordplay. Eat up, wish-bone appetit!
26. Try not to get sauced this year.
27. Pie am so grateful for dessert.
28. Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
29. Wine not have another glass?
30. Will I eat leftovers for a week? I cran, and I will.
31. It doesn’t get any butter than this.
32. Quit marshing my mallow.
33. Stuffing compares to you.
34. Much ado about stuffing.
35. Whip, whip—hooray!
37. I only have pies for you.
38. To feast or not to feast? That is the question.
39. More rolls? You butter believe it!
40. You think Thanksgiving dinner is done? You ain’t seen stuffing yet.
41. I yam who I yam.
42. Oh my gourd, I’m stuffed.
43. Nobody puts gravy in a corner.
44. Hap-pie Thanksgiving!
45. Feast mode: activated.
46. I’m on a dinner roll.
47. Eat, drink, and cranberry!
48. Jazz-lovers put groovy on their mashed potatoes.
49. Let’s give’em pumpkin to talk about.
50. Why didn’t the chef season the turkey? There was no thyme!
51. Feast your eyes on this meal!
52. Sorry my Thanksgiving puns are so corny.
53. No more Mr. Nice Pie!
54. You bake the world a better place.
55. Pie really love you.
56. You’re the apple of my pie.
57. I only have pies for you.
58. Let’s squash the family drama today.
59. Yes we pecan.
60. Say hello to this gourd-geous spread!
61. Who’s ready to get sauced?
62. I like big bundts and I cannot lie.
63. You want a piece of me?
64. Sorry, I’m occu-pied.
65. I have a crust on you!
Turkey puns (these are just fowl)
Time for some turkey puns! These will either have you laughing or cringing. Try not to be a jerky and enjoy!
66. There’s no more gravy left, and I’m suspecting fowl play.
67. No fowl language allowed at dinner.
68. The poul-tree comes before the Christmas tree.
69. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
70. Don’t let the holidays gobble up your sanity.
71. Where’d you find this recipe? Google, Google?
72. If you give the turkey coffee, it’ll be a perky!
73. Hand me the gobble-lets so I can pour the wine.
74. Thanksgiving dinner spread always smells fowl.
75. There was no fowl play involved in the carving of this turkey.
76. Winning the wishbone is a snap!
78. Gobble ’til you wobble.
79. Pour some gravy on me.
80. That doesn’t wing a bell.
81. I’m riding the gravy train to being stuffed.
82. Stuffing is the tur-key to my heart.
83. I’m riding the gravy train to being stuffed.
84. Don’t let the holidays gobble up your sanity.
85. If our turkey was in a band, he’d play the drumsticks.
86. Let’s get basted.
Turkey Jokes (Kids will gobble these up!)
87. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
88. What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
89. What happened to the turkey that got in a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
90. What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing, wing, wing!
91. Why shouldn’t you sit next to a turkey at dinner? Because he will gobble it up.
92. If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? A goblet.
93. When do you serve rubber turkey? Pranksgiving!
94. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
95. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, Quack!
96. What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
97. What do turkeys do on Sunday? Have a peck-nics.
98. What key has legs and can’t open a door? A turkey.
99. Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving tables? They’re a fowl sight.
100. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had his own drumsticks.
101. What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.
102. Why was the turkey put in jail? The police suspected fowl play.
103. What’s a popular Thanksgiving dance? The turkey trot.
104. How come the turkey didn’t eat dinner? He was already stuffed.
105. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
106. Can a turkey jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses can’t jump!
107. Why do turkeys love rainy days? They love fowl weather.
108. What’s the best song to play while cooking a turkey? All About That Baste.
109. Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners.
110. What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-key!
111. Why did the turkey cross the road? He wanted people to think he was a chicken.